Less than 70: The Manifesto of the Capitalist Party

by BEN D. OVER

Introduction

A specter is haunting America, the “Specter of Capitalism.” All the powers of old America–Perry and Gingrich, Occupy Together and President Obama–have united into an unholy alliance to exorcise America of this specter.

Where is the party in opposition that has not been decried as capitalistic by its opponents in power? Where is the party that has not hurled back the branding reproach of capitalism against the more decadent opposition parties and radical adversaries?

Two answers result from these questions:

1. Capitalism is already acknowledged by all the powers in the United States as a power.
2. It is high time the Capitalists should openly, in the face of the whole Republic, publish their views, their aims, their tendencies, and meet this nursery tale of the so-called “Specter of Capitalism” with a manifesto of the party itself.

Vultures and Looters

The history of all hitherto existing society is a history of class struggle. The super-rich and rich, financier and entrepreneur, monarch and lord,  the .01% and the 1%; in other words, oppressor and oppressor. In earlier epochs of history, we find almost everywhere a complicated arrangement , a manifold gradation of social rank. Modern society has not done away with these gradations. It has but established new ones: those who oppress and those who oppress more.

Society as a whole is more and more splitting up into two great patron classes–Vultures and Looters.

The Vultures derive wealth from gambling on the success and failure of productive labor. The Looters manipulate market forces to their own financial advantage in order to expropriate the wealth of companies, communities, and families.

A subtle distinction between these classes exists in the nature of their exploitation. Vultures take advantage of failures that may or may not have been in existence a priori. Looters create the conditions necessary for  failure. Looters are Vultures with purpose.

Looters and Capitalists

In what relations do the Capitalists stand to Looters as a whole?

Capitalists are distinguished from other free-market parties–Libertarians, Tea Partiers, Republicans, Conservatives–by this only: the accumulation of financial wealth is the ultimate expression of personal liberty. The Capitalists are, on the one hand, the most resolute section of the oppressor classes of every country, that section which subjugates the needs of the many to satisfy the greed of the few. The immediate aim of the Capitalists is the same as that of all other free-market parties: formation of all oppressors into a single class, the corrosion of social justice, the commoditization of the human person, and complete control of the political process.

The distinguishing feature of Capitalism is not so much the accumulation of wealth; rather, it is the process by which wealth is accumulated. In a sense, the theory of Capitalism may be summed up in a single sentence: Do unto others in order to maximize profit.

We Capitalists have been reproached with the desire to harness greed in order to acquire the fruit of another man’s own labor. Capital is the collective product of the united action of all members of society. Capital is a social power. To tap into that power, it must be appropriated and converted into private property.

Let us now take Liberty.

Wealth, then, gains individuality while man loses it. But what man loses in individuality, he gains in wealth! A man is a man only to the extent that man has wealth. Man has Liberty only to the extent that man has wealth. Liberty, then, is a commodity that is purchased.

You are horrified at our intending to do away with humanity. But in your existing society, humanity is already done away with for the millions who live in poverty. They do not belong to unions, fraternal organizations, political parties, or civic societies. They have no voice, they have no legislative agenda. You reproach us, therefore, with intending to do away with humanity. Precisely so; that is just what we intend.

From the moment humanity becomes a commodity, that is, when it can be converted into wealth, you say individuality vanishes. Capitalism does not allow individuality to vanish. rather, it allows individuality to be purchased! Individuality becomes simply another market to be manipulated in order to maximize wealth.

Capitalism provides man with the power to subjugate the labor of others by means of wealth and the Liberty it buys. Capitalism ensures that the oppressors are able to engage in idleness, nurturing sloth from the virtue of greed.

The Capitalist way of exploitation also engenders a culture of meaningless toil such as that found in a soulless machine.

Our ideas are the logical outgrowth of consumption that drives progress. Private gain–that is, progress–is driven by the accumulation of things, which in turn, confers status, and therefore, entry into the Capitalist class. As has been stated previously, there can be no Liberty without capital, no capital without exploitation. Thus, the subjugation of the human element is a necessary condition for the Liberation of the Capitalist.

The Liberation of the Capitalist is the most reactionary espousal with traditional property relations and, therefore, with the most traditional ideas.

The Capitalists will use their political supremacy to monopolize social wealth, restrict Liberty to only those who can afford it, and increase the total productivity of their assets.

The following measures, then, are applicable for the Liberation of the Capitalist:

1. Monopolization of all property and application of rents of land to private purposes.
2. No taxation of any kind.
3. The inheritance of private debt from one generation to the next.
4. The dismantling of private and public health insurance.
5. The establishment of debtor prisons.
6. Privatization of the media.
7. The repeal of all regulatory legislation.
8. The suspension of human rights, except the right to work.
9. The expulsion of the poor into isolated communities.
10. An end to public education.

When, in the course of development, the distinctions among oppressors have disappeared and all wealth has been monopolized by the few, the State will become irrelevant. In its place, we shall have a common discord, in which the free development of the elite follows the forced retardation of all.

Filed under: Less Than 70, National News, Capitalism, Free Market, Liberty, Occupy Wall Street, Poverty, Right to Work, The Capitalist Manifesto, Vulture Capitalism

Less than 70: The Ants and the Grasshopper

by PROFESSOR STUART GUMBIE, BS, MS, PhD, FOS, NCCM

 The ants were spending a fine winter’s day drying grain collected in the summertime. A Grasshopper, perishing with famine, passed by and earnestly begged for a little food. The Ants inquired of him, “Why did you not treasure up food during the summer?” He replied, “I had not leisure enough. I passed the days in singing.” Then they said in derision: If you were foolish enough to sing all summer, you must dance supperless to bed in the winter.

Aesop’s fables are still as applicable today as they were when Aesop wrote them 2,500 years ago. We are in need of a moral education today just as much as Aesop’s students were in ancient Greece. Given the pace of life in the 21st century and the interconnectedness of seemingly disjointed events, perhaps we need such a moral education now more than ever.

Aesop’s genius was his efficient simplicity. In a few short sentences, Aesop communicated timeless lessons. We need this kind of efficiency today, with our hectic, compressed and noisy lives. Fortunately, we can turn to Aesop’s simple wisdom for guidance. We must be like The Ants.

In this age, information is transmitted instantaneously, and resources to make enlightened and informed decision are but a mouse-click away. We need an algorithm to process that information as quickly and as efficiently as possible in order to come to the most convenient decision possible. We must act impulsively.

When presented with new information, the most efficient process is to quickly scan the crumbs of knowledge at your disposal for those that already fit into your current world view. Trust in your preconceived notions and simply cherry pick whatever evidence supports those preconceptions. By doing this, you leverage previously accumulated knowledge. Simply parking lot any information that does not harmonize with your preexisting biases. This kind of impulsive prudence is an effective and value-added information management system.

The ability to make a truly informed decision is impossible. New information is always becoming available. In a less frantic world, prudence may have been a virtue. But we now live in an era where we are constantly being bombarded by new pieces of evidence; prudence has become a phase two virtue: that is, it is unrealistic. Divining what is “right” and “proper” is a waste of time, like putting socks on an octopus.

We live in a hyper-competitive world in which the strongest idea dominates. To position yourself in this marketplace requires ambition, focus, and constancy. Discernment weakens your personal brand by providing constant push-back, leading towards indecision, and indecision is a poison pill in building your personal brand.

Prudence is a two-faced monster that damages your personal brand. In the marketplace of ideas–which, depending on your state of life, may be your family, your circle of friends, your co-workers, or your electorate–you need to package your ideas consistently so that the consumers will know what they are getting. The goal of a personal brand, then is to present a clear and consistent image of what you stand for in order to build disciples, followers, and lackeys. By indulging prudence, you risk baiting your consumers, only to switch them to another brand. Prudence undermines the consistency necessary to build your brand.

Prudence also damages your brand because it is slow. Time-to-market is a critical factor in determining the success of your brand. The first product to market has a significant competitive advantage over any latecomers. This truism is just as important in the marketplace of ideas. When you act prudently, you waste time that should be spent in establishing your personal brand in the market. While you are judiciously weighing the evidence, discerning what is “right” from “wrong,” and then determining the proper course of action, your more impulsive competitors will have been first to market, and you will be forever trying to catch up.

A practical example may show exactly what I mean about the advantage of impulsive prudence. Back in October, President Obama dispatched 100 troops to Uganda to help fight the Lord’s Resistance Army. On his radio show, Rush Limbaugh criticized this decision, saying that the President is sending troops to “wipe out Christians in Sudan, Uganda.” Had Rush Limbaugh acted with prudence, he would have done the research on the Lord’s Resistance Army, and realized that this “army” is little more than a bizarre death cult. But had he done so, it would have undermined his brand image, which is one of vehement opposition to the Obama Administration. Rather, Rush Limbaugh acted impulsively, thereby positioning his brand in the marketplace of ideas. If he did his research before he spoke, and realized that the LRA are the bad guys, he would have been in the untenable position of actually supporting the President. Prudence would have undermined his brand.

If Aesop were alive today, he may have written the fable thusly:

The Ants were spending a fine fall day collecting as many seeds as possible before winter. A Grasshopper prudently and carefully selected the most nutritious seeds. When winter came, the Ants mocked the Grasshopper, saying, “Why did you not treasure up more seeds. Our stockpiles are full, while yours is half empty.”  He replied, “I acted prudently. I passed the days deciding carefully, selecting only the best seeds, while what you thought were seeds are but empty husks of no value.” Then they said in derision: “While they may be empty husks, we still have more than you!”

 The moral of this fable: It is prudent to act impulsively to get attention today.

Filed under: Less Than 70, Uncategorized, Aesop, Aesop's Fables, LRA, Prudence, Rush Limbaugh, The Ants and the Grasshopper, Virtue

Less than 70: “The War on Labor Day”

by GOVERNOR SAMUEL “SANDY” BRIBESCAM

The first Monday of September honors a fine American tradition. On this day, which marks the transition from summer to fall, Americans across this great nation honor the American worker. Since 1882, when the first Labor Day was celebrated in New York City, people have gathered to recognize the contributions made by American workers to our collective social and economic achievement. Indeed, the vital force of the American worker has added to the highest standard of living the world has ever known.

But Labor Day doesn’t feel like Labor Day anymore. From its humble beginnings in New York City, this tradition spread from city to city, from state to state; by 1894, Labor Day was a national holiday. People came together to remember workers’ sacrifices by hosting parades; they listened to speeches that extolled the virtues of labor; communities came forward to say “thank you” to those virtuous men and women who built this country and added to its great wealth with their sweat and toil.

Today, however, there is an ongoing war against Labor Day. The plutocrats and oligarchs that own the political process have waged an unrelenting assault on this noble holiday. By attacking Labor Day, this tiny minority wishes to strip the American workers of their dignity, and erase the sacrifices labor has made to help America live up to its promise. It is an attack on labor itself, on the dignity of work, and the history of our nation. In its stead, the plutocrats and oligarchs are indoctrinating the people with their antisocial dogmas of conspicuous consumption, greed, and exploitation.

We no longer hear speeches by organized labor anymore. The ubiquitous Labor Day parade has lost its unique characteristics, having devolved into an insipid clone of the 4th of July Parade or Memorial Day parade. Labor Day is subsumed under the umbrella of a civic festival that marks the end of summer. The parades that once served to honor the long struggle for workers’ rights are now little more than an addendum to weekend-long “Fall Fling” celebrations. No longer do we hear speeches reminding us of the battles fought for the just and favorable working conditions we now take for granted. Rather, these festivals feature carnivals and concerts that ignore our responsibility to remember our past and traditions. These indulgences have stripped Labor Day of its true meaning.

This onslaught on this privileged holiday by the plutocrats and oligarchs has finally begun to bear fruit. Union membership is in decline, and fewer Americans than ever value the labor movement. Only 52% of Americans see unions as a force for good. This is  down from an all time high of 75% in the 1950s. Meanwhile, 42% of Americans disapprove of labor unions, up from an all time low of 14%. The plutocrats and oligarchs are succeeding in stripping away Americans their hard-won rights, and seek to transform the American worker into an indentured servant.

The Founding Fathers understood the importance of the right to organize, and enshrined this principle in the Bill of Rights with the 1st Amendment:

“Congress shall make no law . . . or [abridging] the right of the people peaceably to assemble ; and to petition the Government for the redress of grievances.”

The right to form unions–that is, to “peaceably assemble”–and the right for public employee unions to collectively bargain–that is, to “petition the Government for the redress of grievances”–are surely protected by the Constitution. Furthermore, the 9th Amendment guarantees that rights not explicitly enumerated in the Constitution–such as the right to favorable working conditions, equal pay, rest and leisure, and an adequate standard of living, are retained by the people.  The attacks by the plutocrats and oligarchs clearly go against the intent and vision of our Founding Fathers.

The Founding Fathers envisioned a productive, industrious nation where workers formed the backbone of the economy (after all, how many of them earned a fortune from the toil of chattel slavery?). Throughout our nation’s great history, workers have done for themselves what the state has failed to do: create and maintain a vibrant middle class, providing evidence that the national pursuit for happiness is making progress. This is the real reason the plutocrats and oligarchs hate organized labor: unions help ensure a more just and equitable economy, and in turn, a more just and equitable society. Knowing this, the tycoons who have usurped our democracy and subjected us to the tyranny of greed wage an ongoing war against the American worker, sterilizing the fertility of labor.

Labor Day itself may be a casualty of that war.

Filed under: National News, Less Than 70, War on Christmas, Labor Day, Bill of Rights, Unions, Colorado Labor Wars, Plutocracy, Oligarchs

Less Than 70: “The Republican Universe”

by KAITIE QUIP

We live in a crazy and beautiful world; unfortunately, crazy and beautiful are not in an equal proportion. And for anyone who has been following the Republican primaries,  crazy seems to have had the upper hand.

I say this based on empirical observation and not because I disagree with just about every Republican idea that has ever been uttered, thought, or imagined. People disagree, which is part of what makes us human (and, as a comedian, provides me with job security; after all, if we all agreed, who would I be able to make fun of?). What strikes me as crazy, really crazy, is the depth of the looniness among the Republican presidential hopefuls.

First, there is a superficial kind of crazy. In another time or another place, if you observed a field of candidates including three minority candidates (a woman, an African American, and an anti-war candidate), you would be witnessing a Democratic primary. But not so in 2011-2012.

Second, there is a stupid kind of crazy, revealed by the candidates’ ignorance of some rather basic facts: The century in which the American Revolution occurred (the 18th century, not the 16th), which continent Libya is in (it is also a part of Africa), or that we have more natural gas than Saudi Arabia (which is true only if you include Newt Gingrich in your calculations). You would hope that the leader of the free world would have a basic grasp of these kinds of facts.

Finally, there is a kind of crazy that is just plain scary: Rep. Bachmann claimed that the HPV vaccine causes mental retardation (it does not). Speaker Gingrich thinks that judges should be arrested for making unpopular rulings (an independent judiciary seems to be as important to him as it did to General Pervez Musharraf). And, of course, there was Herman Cain….

But what explains this odd sort of behavior? There are several hypotheses.

Are the candidates idiots? Not likely. They are all well educated and have achieved levels of success that would be unachievable if someone was not very smart. They might not think before they speak or may be horribly misinformed (as in the case of Michelle Bachmann), or they might just not think at all (see Rick Perry). But that does not necessarily mean they are idiots.

Are the candidates sociopaths? While it may seem that way, there are other more reasonable explanations: Islamophobia (in the case of Rick Santorum), arrogance (see Newt Gingrich), eccentricity (Ron Paul and Herman Cain are exhibits A and B, respectively), and a craven subservience to corporate overlords (Mitt Romney) are all more plausible explanations for their anti-social agendas.

Another hypothesis–one which I am loathe to consider, but must in the interest of scientific integrity–is that they are not crazy. But I can quickly and easily dismiss this hypothesis with just one look into Michele Bachmann’s eyes.

“When you have eliminated the impossible,” said Sherlock Holmes, “whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” As improbable as this may sound, having eliminated the impossible, I am left to conclude that Republicans are from another universe.

Physicists have been playing with the idea that our universe is just one of many possible universes. That is, we are just part of a much grander multiverse. The laws of physics in our universe or so delicately tuned to support life, some physicists say, that they cannot be mere accidents. If the laws of gravity were just a little stronger or weaker, if protons were a little heavier, or if Republicans were a little crazier, life as we know it could not exist.

The idea of a multiverse emerges from string theory, a theory which tries to smooth out the inconsistencies between the theory of general relativity (which describes really, really big things, like Newt Gingrich’s head) and quantum mechanics, which describes really, really small things (like Rick Perry’s brain). String theory allows for “membranes” to exist, and we live on one of those membranes.

The problem with string theory, however, is that it can never be proven right or wrong (there are so many solutions to the basic equations in string theory, that any solution could be correct). But experiments at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) are underway to test this theory.

The idea behind these experiments is much like a Presidential Primary: particles are crashed into each other, and the remains are picked through to see what remains. By comparing the amount of energy before the collision with the amount of energy after the collision, and if the amount after is less, then that indicates that some of the energy had flown off the membrane.

This theory explains the current Republican Party: they are “particles” flung off from a parallel universe. In that universe, corporations are people, President Obama is a Kenyan anti-colonial socialist with a fake birth certificate, and people ride unicorns through forests of lollipops and gumdrops.

But why are the Republicans here? Were they the result of an experiment done in another universe to test their version of string theory? Are they the vanguard of an invasion force from another dimension? Or are they exiles from their native universe, having f**ked that one up too?

If you want to understand today’s Republicans, you don’t need to read the Constitution, the Federalist Papers, or the Bible. Rather, you should spend your time watching The Outer Limits or The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.

Filed under: Less Than 70, Science & Technology, Buckaroo Banzai, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Republican Primary 2012, Rick Perry, Ron Paul, String Theory, Unicorns and Lollipops