Less than 70: The Manifesto of the Capitalist Party

by BEN D. OVER

Introduction

A specter is haunting America, the “Specter of Capitalism.” All the powers of old America–Perry and Gingrich, Occupy Together and President Obama–have united into an unholy alliance to exorcise America of this specter.

Where is the party in opposition that has not been decried as capitalistic by its opponents in power? Where is the party that has not hurled back the branding reproach of capitalism against the more decadent opposition parties and radical adversaries?

Two answers result from these questions:

1. Capitalism is already acknowledged by all the powers in the United States as a power.
2. It is high time the Capitalists should openly, in the face of the whole Republic, publish their views, their aims, their tendencies, and meet this nursery tale of the so-called “Specter of Capitalism” with a manifesto of the party itself.

Vultures and Looters

The history of all hitherto existing society is a history of class struggle. The super-rich and rich, financier and entrepreneur, monarch and lord,  the .01% and the 1%; in other words, oppressor and oppressor. In earlier epochs of history, we find almost everywhere a complicated arrangement , a manifold gradation of social rank. Modern society has not done away with these gradations. It has but established new ones: those who oppress and those who oppress more.

Society as a whole is more and more splitting up into two great patron classes–Vultures and Looters.

The Vultures derive wealth from gambling on the success and failure of productive labor. The Looters manipulate market forces to their own financial advantage in order to expropriate the wealth of companies, communities, and families.

A subtle distinction between these classes exists in the nature of their exploitation. Vultures take advantage of failures that may or may not have been in existence a priori. Looters create the conditions necessary for  failure. Looters are Vultures with purpose.

Looters and Capitalists

In what relations do the Capitalists stand to Looters as a whole?

Capitalists are distinguished from other free-market parties–Libertarians, Tea Partiers, Republicans, Conservatives–by this only: the accumulation of financial wealth is the ultimate expression of personal liberty. The Capitalists are, on the one hand, the most resolute section of the oppressor classes of every country, that section which subjugates the needs of the many to satisfy the greed of the few. The immediate aim of the Capitalists is the same as that of all other free-market parties: formation of all oppressors into a single class, the corrosion of social justice, the commoditization of the human person, and complete control of the political process.

The distinguishing feature of Capitalism is not so much the accumulation of wealth; rather, it is the process by which wealth is accumulated. In a sense, the theory of Capitalism may be summed up in a single sentence: Do unto others in order to maximize profit.

We Capitalists have been reproached with the desire to harness greed in order to acquire the fruit of another man’s own labor. Capital is the collective product of the united action of all members of society. Capital is a social power. To tap into that power, it must be appropriated and converted into private property.

Let us now take Liberty.

Wealth, then, gains individuality while man loses it. But what man loses in individuality, he gains in wealth! A man is a man only to the extent that man has wealth. Man has Liberty only to the extent that man has wealth. Liberty, then, is a commodity that is purchased.

You are horrified at our intending to do away with humanity. But in your existing society, humanity is already done away with for the millions who live in poverty. They do not belong to unions, fraternal organizations, political parties, or civic societies. They have no voice, they have no legislative agenda. You reproach us, therefore, with intending to do away with humanity. Precisely so; that is just what we intend.

From the moment humanity becomes a commodity, that is, when it can be converted into wealth, you say individuality vanishes. Capitalism does not allow individuality to vanish. rather, it allows individuality to be purchased! Individuality becomes simply another market to be manipulated in order to maximize wealth.

Capitalism provides man with the power to subjugate the labor of others by means of wealth and the Liberty it buys. Capitalism ensures that the oppressors are able to engage in idleness, nurturing sloth from the virtue of greed.

The Capitalist way of exploitation also engenders a culture of meaningless toil such as that found in a soulless machine.

Our ideas are the logical outgrowth of consumption that drives progress. Private gain–that is, progress–is driven by the accumulation of things, which in turn, confers status, and therefore, entry into the Capitalist class. As has been stated previously, there can be no Liberty without capital, no capital without exploitation. Thus, the subjugation of the human element is a necessary condition for the Liberation of the Capitalist.

The Liberation of the Capitalist is the most reactionary espousal with traditional property relations and, therefore, with the most traditional ideas.

The Capitalists will use their political supremacy to monopolize social wealth, restrict Liberty to only those who can afford it, and increase the total productivity of their assets.

The following measures, then, are applicable for the Liberation of the Capitalist:

1. Monopolization of all property and application of rents of land to private purposes.
2. No taxation of any kind.
3. The inheritance of private debt from one generation to the next.
4. The dismantling of private and public health insurance.
5. The establishment of debtor prisons.
6. Privatization of the media.
7. The repeal of all regulatory legislation.
8. The suspension of human rights, except the right to work.
9. The expulsion of the poor into isolated communities.
10. An end to public education.

When, in the course of development, the distinctions among oppressors have disappeared and all wealth has been monopolized by the few, the State will become irrelevant. In its place, we shall have a common discord, in which the free development of the elite follows the forced retardation of all.

Filed under: Less Than 70, National News, Capitalism, Free Market, Liberty, Occupy Wall Street, Poverty, Right to Work, The Capitalist Manifesto, Vulture Capitalism

Sympathy for Bill Maher

Social media has given a voice to the voiceless. But its rise in popularity seems to have brought with it a loss in the art of listening. The virtues of silence, sincerity, and moderation seem to have little place in the age of Facebook and Twitter. In today’s program, we discuss the role these virtues play in the world of social media.

TRANSCRIPT

BOB BURNHAM, host: Happy New Year, and welcome to the first Moron Quotient of 2012. I am your host, Bob Burnham. After the Denver Broncos 40-14 loss to the Buffalo Bills, comedian Bill Maher issued a now infamous tweet, mocking Broncos’ quarterback, and apparent Messiah, Tim Tebow.

That tweet did not win Bill Maher any new friends. Calls for a boycott of Maher’s show on HBO have been accompanied by his expulsion from the liberal barn by Bob Beckel, and his condemnation to Hell by Eric Bolling.

These are strong words. But are they really helpful? Do such strong statements really do anything productive? In a world where speaking has more value than listening, do such virtues as silence, sincerity, and moderation have a place?

Joining us in a little while will be our Panel of Morons. But first I’d like to introduce a man of wealth and taste: the Prince of Darkness, the Morning Star, Satan. Satan, welcome to the Moron Quotient.

SATAN: Please to meet you. Just call me Lucifer.

BOB: So Satan–excuse me, Lucifer–do you see a lack of virtue in public discourse, and do you see it as a problem?

SATAN: Is there a lack of virtue? Sure there is. But is it a problem? I really don’t think so. First of all, humans have only inconsistently and half-heartedly applied virtues to their actions. Social media just amplifies this inherent lack of virtue. Second, what good is virtue anyway?

BOB: Don’t virtues help us determine between right and wrong? Don’t they help us to do unto others as you would have them do unto you?

SATAN: That sounds noble, but it is hardly practical, isn’t it? What is more practical is to do unto others as they do unto you.

BOB: You mean, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth?

SATAN: Exactly. And if you see, if you look at what has happened in the wake of Bill Maher’s tweet, you see exactly how this is put into practice. Tim Tebow’s public display of faith challenges Bill Maher’s world view. Maher responds in kind, which offends Eric Bolling and Bob Beckel, who decide to offend Maher. It’s this escalation of offense. They are all pursuing their own self-interest. That is the only virtue I know of.

BOB: But how does that build tolerance?

SATAN: It doesn’t, and that’s the point–I foster  intolerance. That’s the nature of my game. You forget that I have been around for a long, long time, and have seen many moments of doubt an pain.

BOB: So, you see nothing wrong in Eric Bolling calling Bill Maher  ”disgusting vile trash” and wishing that he would go straight to Hell?

SATAN: Look, if the only virtue is to act in one’s own self-interest, then that is an entirely virtuous act. Besides, I’d love to have Bill Maher down there. Hell could use a few laughs.

BOB: And Bill Maher, saying that you were celebrating the Broncos’ loss? Is there nothing wrong with that?

SATAN: Well, yeah, but not for the reason he thinks. I mean, if people think that God has anything to do with the Denver Broncos winning, and if they use that to support heir faith, then that makes my job so much easier. No, the reason I was celebrating is because I’m a Raiders fan, and a Denver loss will help my team get into the playoffs!

BOB: It looks to me like the only person who rose above this whole scandal is the man who was the target of Bill Maher’s attack, Tim Tebow. Satan, I know you have to go, but thank you for stopping by and sharing your views.

SATAN: No problem, Bob. It’s been my pleasure. And don’t worry, I’m not going away anytime soon.

BOB: I’d now like to turn to our Panel of Morons. I am joined by Professor Stuart Gumbie and Gov. Samuel Bribescam. Professor, Governor, Happy New Year to you both.

PROF. STUART GUMBIE, B.S., M.S, Ph.D, FOS, NCCS: Happy New Year, Bob. Glad to be here.

GOV. SAMUEL “SANDY” BRIBESCAM, former Democratic Governor: Hi Bob. Happy New Year to you too.

BOB: Professor, let me start with you. Having heard what Satan had to say, what is your opinion. Is there a lack of virtue in what passes for public discourse?

PROF. GUMBIE: Well, I think the situation is a little more complicated. In my book,  Modeling Morality: How to Make Morality Your Brand, I explain that what we call “virtues” are boundary values for the equations that model behavior. The variables in these equation are ambition, ego, envy, and conflict.

BOB: And these are what you call your “factors of motivation?”

PROF. GUMBIE: Exactly. Virtues provide limits on each of those factors in order to maximize value. The correct limits, of course, vary from situation to situation.

BOB: So virtues, as we know them, are not stable, but vary from situation to situation?

GOV. BRIBESCAM: You see this all the time in politics. We are not motivated to do what is virtuous or right. We are motivated by what is expedient. The trick, though, is the spin. How do we make our actions, dictated as they are by what is politically expedient, seem virtuous?

BOB: That’s very cynical.

GOV. BRIBESCAM: It’s politics. Virtue doesn’t have the same political value that wealth and the power that flows from it does.

PROF. GUMBIE: That’s why you need to make virtue part of your brand image.

BOB: I still think that society would be better served if we spoke only that which benefits others, using no hurtful deceit. We should think honestly and justly, and speak accordingly.

GOV. BRIBESCAM: You’ll never win elected office with that attitude.

BOB:  I’m afraid that is all the time we have for today’s show. I’d like to thank our two panelists, Professor Gumbie and Governor Bribescam for joining me today.

PROF. GUMBIE: Thank you, Bob.

GOV. BRIBESCAM: It’s been a pleasure, as always.

BOB: And may all of you have a Happy New Year, and may it be a year filled with peace and goodness!

Filed under: National News, #straightohellBill, Bill Maher, Satan, Sympathy for the Devil, Tim Tebow, Virute

Less than 70: “The War on Labor Day”

by GOVERNOR SAMUEL “SANDY” BRIBESCAM

The first Monday of September honors a fine American tradition. On this day, which marks the transition from summer to fall, Americans across this great nation honor the American worker. Since 1882, when the first Labor Day was celebrated in New York City, people have gathered to recognize the contributions made by American workers to our collective social and economic achievement. Indeed, the vital force of the American worker has added to the highest standard of living the world has ever known.

But Labor Day doesn’t feel like Labor Day anymore. From its humble beginnings in New York City, this tradition spread from city to city, from state to state; by 1894, Labor Day was a national holiday. People came together to remember workers’ sacrifices by hosting parades; they listened to speeches that extolled the virtues of labor; communities came forward to say “thank you” to those virtuous men and women who built this country and added to its great wealth with their sweat and toil.

Today, however, there is an ongoing war against Labor Day. The plutocrats and oligarchs that own the political process have waged an unrelenting assault on this noble holiday. By attacking Labor Day, this tiny minority wishes to strip the American workers of their dignity, and erase the sacrifices labor has made to help America live up to its promise. It is an attack on labor itself, on the dignity of work, and the history of our nation. In its stead, the plutocrats and oligarchs are indoctrinating the people with their antisocial dogmas of conspicuous consumption, greed, and exploitation.

We no longer hear speeches by organized labor anymore. The ubiquitous Labor Day parade has lost its unique characteristics, having devolved into an insipid clone of the 4th of July Parade or Memorial Day parade. Labor Day is subsumed under the umbrella of a civic festival that marks the end of summer. The parades that once served to honor the long struggle for workers’ rights are now little more than an addendum to weekend-long “Fall Fling” celebrations. No longer do we hear speeches reminding us of the battles fought for the just and favorable working conditions we now take for granted. Rather, these festivals feature carnivals and concerts that ignore our responsibility to remember our past and traditions. These indulgences have stripped Labor Day of its true meaning.

This onslaught on this privileged holiday by the plutocrats and oligarchs has finally begun to bear fruit. Union membership is in decline, and fewer Americans than ever value the labor movement. Only 52% of Americans see unions as a force for good. This is  down from an all time high of 75% in the 1950s. Meanwhile, 42% of Americans disapprove of labor unions, up from an all time low of 14%. The plutocrats and oligarchs are succeeding in stripping away Americans their hard-won rights, and seek to transform the American worker into an indentured servant.

The Founding Fathers understood the importance of the right to organize, and enshrined this principle in the Bill of Rights with the 1st Amendment:

“Congress shall make no law . . . or [abridging] the right of the people peaceably to assemble ; and to petition the Government for the redress of grievances.”

The right to form unions–that is, to “peaceably assemble”–and the right for public employee unions to collectively bargain–that is, to “petition the Government for the redress of grievances”–are surely protected by the Constitution. Furthermore, the 9th Amendment guarantees that rights not explicitly enumerated in the Constitution–such as the right to favorable working conditions, equal pay, rest and leisure, and an adequate standard of living, are retained by the people.  The attacks by the plutocrats and oligarchs clearly go against the intent and vision of our Founding Fathers.

The Founding Fathers envisioned a productive, industrious nation where workers formed the backbone of the economy (after all, how many of them earned a fortune from the toil of chattel slavery?). Throughout our nation’s great history, workers have done for themselves what the state has failed to do: create and maintain a vibrant middle class, providing evidence that the national pursuit for happiness is making progress. This is the real reason the plutocrats and oligarchs hate organized labor: unions help ensure a more just and equitable economy, and in turn, a more just and equitable society. Knowing this, the tycoons who have usurped our democracy and subjected us to the tyranny of greed wage an ongoing war against the American worker, sterilizing the fertility of labor.

Labor Day itself may be a casualty of that war.

Filed under: National News, Less Than 70, War on Christmas, Labor Day, Bill of Rights, Unions, Colorado Labor Wars, Plutocracy, Oligarchs

Operation Santa’s Slay

The debate over the proper place of religion in the public sphere heats up every Christmas. This “war” on Christmas conflates the cultural and commercial symbols of Christmas with its theological meaning. But these symbols are entirely irrelevant to the the true meaning of the Christmas.

TRANSCRIPT

BOB BURNHAM, host: Welcome to the Moron Quotient, I am your host, Bob Burnham. Nativity scenes are dismantled across the nation. Christmas trees are renamed “Holiday” trees. People are forced to say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” The War on Christmas continues.

But is there really a “war” on Christmas? According to the a recent Gallup poll, 95% of Americans celebrate Christmas; 51% of whom say the holiday is strongly religious for them. This continues an upward trend since 1990, when only 40% said it was strongly religious. And the percent of people who say it is not too religious is down from 20% to 17%.

Joining me to discuss this issue are two of our distinguished panelists from the Panel of Morons, Ben D. Over, of KRAP Radio, and Madame Goo-Goo. Ben, Madame, thanks for joining me on today’s program.

BEND D. OVER, radio talk show host: Bob.

MADAME GOO-GOO: Merry Christmas, Bob and Ben! I’m so glad to be here!

BOB: We are also joined by someone who can be best described by the words “stink, stank, stunk”: The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Mr. Grinch, welcome to the Moron Quotient.

THE GRINCH, who stole Christmas: Thank you for having me, Bob, on your show, and here is a “ba-humbug” instead of a “ho-ho-ho!”

BOB: Ben, is there a war being waged on Christmas?

OVER: Absolutely! There is something very wrong in this country when kids cannot openly celebrate Christmas in public, or our elected representatives in Congress cannot send out Christmas cards. It’s just another example of the erosion of our country’s moral foundation.

BOB: Aren’t you overstating things a bit? Members of Congress are prohibited by a federal law passed in 1974 that forbids using the Congressional Post Office for sending birthday, anniversary, retirement, or similar greetings, including holiday greetings.

GOO-GOO:  Ben, Christmas is everywhere, it’s pervasive. Christmas is a tremendous presence that can overcome people of other faiths.

GRINCH: Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, will stand close together… with Christmas bells ringing. They’ll stand hand in hand… and those Whos… will start singing! And they’ll feast, and they’ll feast. And they’ll feast, feast, feast, feast! They’ll feast on Who pudding and rare Who roast beast. Aw, roast beast is a feast I can’t stand in the least!

GOO-GOO: Shouldn’t we give people like Mr. Grinch a choice? Should he not be free from having the Who’s faith–a faith he does not share–forced upon him?

OVER: What you call “choice” is nothing but an intensifying persecution of Christianity by cultural Marxists who demand that we acquiesce to lies.

GOO-GOO: I’m sorry, Ben, but what lies are you talking about?

OVER: The lies of multiculturalism. This crazy, pervasive political correctness that stifles dissent and stigmatizes social heresy!

BOB:  Mr. Grinch, are you waging a war on Christmas?

GRINCH:  I must stop this whole thing. Why, for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming, but how?

OVER: By helping Comrade Obama implement his secular socialist agenda, that’s how!

GOO-GOO:  Or by cutting unemployment insurance or raising taxes on the middle class.

BOB: But why, Mr. Grinch, do you hate Christmas so much? Is it that your shoes are on too tight, or is it that your heart is two sizes too small?

GRINCH: I rage against Christmas for one simple reason, and that is that I hate the whole Christmas season! I hate all the singing and Christmas bells ringing. That’s one thing I hate! All the noise, noise, noise! And the Who’s play noisy games like zoozit and kazay, a rollerskate type of lacrosse and croquet!

OVER: You see? The cultural Marxists behind the secular socialization of America are eroding our values stripping Christianity from the public sphere under the tyranny of so-called “political correctness!” Multiculturalism does not work!

GOO-GOO: What you call “political correctness” I call “tolerance,” Ben. If everyone just took the time to be patient and nice, you’ll have good results. You just need to put your preconceived notions about the “other” aside.

BOB: Just because people say “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings” instead of “Merry Christmas,” does that really constitute a war? And if by calling a Christmas tree a “Holiday” tree make the spirit of the season more inclusive, isn’t that a good thing?

GOO-GOO: Yeah, you know, peace on earth and goodwill to all human kind?

OVER: The two of you nauseate me. You are simply waging a covert war on the American way of life.

GRINCH: I am puzzled, and now my puzzler is sore. I think I thought of something I haven’t before.  People will celebrate Christmas, the tall and the small, without any Christmas trees or Nativities at all! Christmas isn’t about what you see in a park! Christmas is about what lives in your heart!

BOB: Mr. Grinch, I think your heart has grown three sizes today.

OVER:  Your souls are an appalling dung heap overflowing with most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable.

GOO-GOO: And I think Ben’s heart has shrunk a size or two.

BOB: And I’m afraid we are out of time. I’d like to thank our guests: Ben, Madame, and Mr. Grinch.

GOO-GOO: Thank you, Bob! Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and peace, love, and happiness!

OVER:  Merry CHRIST-mas. And let’s keep the Christ in Christmas.

GRINCH: Merry Christmas, to all of you, and may your Christmas wishes all come true!

BOB: And whatever your faith tradition is, may you be blessed with all peace and goodness. And let us all work together to build a more fraternal world based on love and respet for all our brothers and sisters.

May there be peace on earth, and let it begin with each one of us.

Filed under: National News, Christmas, Cultrual Marxism, Multiculturalism, Religion, Religious Freedom, Religious Tolerance, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, War on Christmas