Essays from the Panel of Morons
This is the Moron Quotient’s editorial page. It is a place where the panelists display their wit, wisdom, and intellect on important issues. This is also a place where you can share your ideas with the intellectual giants that sit on the Panel of Morons.
The Manifesto of the Capitalist Party–Ben D. Over
“It is high time the Capitalists should openly, in the face of the whole Republic, publish their views, their aims, their tendencies, and meet this nursery tale of the so-called ‘Specter of Capitalism’ with a manifesto of the party itself. . . .”
The Ants and the Grasshopper–Prof. Stuart “Stewie” Gumbie, BS, MS, PhD, FOS, NCCM
“Aesop’s fables are still as applicable today as they were when Aesop wrote them 2,500 years ago. We are in need of a moral education today just as much as Aesop’s students were in ancient Greece. Given the pace of life in the 21st century and the interconnectedness of seemingly disjointed events, perhaps we need such a moral education now more than ever. . . .”
The War on Labor Day–Governor Samuel “Sandy” Bribescam
“The first Monday of September honors a fine American tradition. On this day, which marks the transition from summer to fall, Americans across this great nation honor the American worker. . . .But Labor Day doesn’t feel like Labor Day any more. . . .”
The Republican Universe–Katie Quip
“We live in a crazy and beautiful world; unfortunately, crazy and beautiful are not in an equal proportion. And for anyone who has been following the Republican primaries, crazy seems to have had the upper hand. . . .”
It Can Be Done. It Should Be Done–Ben D. Over
“The problem of illegal immigration can no longer be ignored. Regardless of a person’s political ideologies and affiliations, we can all agree on the fact that the immigration policy of the United States is deeply flawed. To put it bluntly, the immigration system is broken. . . .”
