God v. Sarah Palin

Posted: March 9, 2010 in Uncategorized

Wasting no time, the Panel of Morons began its first session by considering whether or not Sarah Palin is, in fact, a moron.

At issue is her quote regarding the crib notes she had written on her hand, “If it was good enough for God,” she said, “it’s good enough for me.” Ms. Palin was referring to the following passage from Book of Isaiah: “See, upon the palms of my hand, I have written your name.” (Is 49:16)

The Panel voted 3-2 that Ms. Palin is not a moron. Writing for the majority, Mr. Over wrote, “This is an old story, which American citizens have rejected as petty. The liberal media is trying to resurrect a dead issue in order to deflect criticism of the failed policies of their Anointed One in the White House.  In fact, I believe the entire left-wing, liberal media elite should be declared moronic for even trying to make this a story.”

Ex-Governor Bribescam wrote a separate opinion, stating that, “While I agree that Ms. Palin in this instance, and this instance alone, is not a moron, I disagree with the conclusions of the rest of the majority. Rather, by making reference to Scripture, Ms. Palin has displayed adroit political maneuvering that shores up her popularity among her base, especially given her poor showing in the CPAC straw poll. Ms. Palin is showing her hand: She intends to run in 2012, and she is already building support among the conservative Christian base of her party. She will need their support if she plans on winning what, I believe, will be a crowded field in the Republican Presidential primary.”

Writing a dissenting opinion, Ms. Leggs wrote, “Uh, I don’t think God needs crib notes.”

Voting with the majority were Gov. Samuel “Sandy” Bribescam, Stewie Gumbie, and Ben D. Over. Amber Leggs and Madame Goo-Goo voted against the majority opinion.

However, despite the opinion of the Panel, Ms. Palin’s Moron Quotient (MQ) of .35 classifies her as a Quasi-Moron.


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